Airin' The Peeves
Something has been bugging me for a while and it's time to let it out. There seems to be a lot of confusion about enumerative adverbs. I often hear people say, "first of all...(whatever)...and second of all...(whatever)..." I've even heard people say "third of all". Now, to say first of all makes perfect sense. First of all other whatevers in a given context. But I think "second of all" sounds a bit off. Especially when the word secondly is available. Even "firstly" works, even if it sounds a bit archaic. "Thirdly" is acceptable but that's as far as you can go with the ly suffix. "Fourthly" ought to get you some funny looks and eager corrections. So "thirdly" acts as an acceptable boundary between these words. But you don't hear that one often. I've heard "third of all" more often than I've heard "thirdly".
But why not just say "first,...(whatever)..." and "second...(whatever)..."? Works fine, one less sound to make. And it opens up THE WHOLE RANGE O' NUMBERS. You can say "first, the President's continued cronyism is alienating even some of his most staunch supporters, and second, I think those pregnant pauses in his speech suggest a tired, fragmented mind." That just sounds better than first of all, second of all, etc. And again, it's not limiting.
Me: SO WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE SAY FIRST OF ALL, SECOND OF ALL, THIRD OF ALL...etc.?
Me: Habit, nobody thinks about it when they say it, and nobody cares when they hear it, that's why.
Me: Oh. Well that makes sense.
And Another Thing
I've had about enough of the bullshit. What bullshit? Bullshit like this. Look at the clever way this is written, and presented as objective journalism. This is a pervasive trend. Some say a 40-year trend. So I guess it's our fault that Pakistanis are suffering as a result of an earthquake. Pakistan is complaining about our $50 million aid package...calling it insulting. How much did Pakistan offer for Katrina relief? $1 million, through the Red Cross. Global hypocrisy. Probably more dangerous than a Global flu.
The U.S. did more to help the victims of the tsunami than any other country. The U.S. always does more to help than any other country. Anti-U.S. propaganda has done more to spread anti-American sentiment than our foreign policy. The U.S. has acted fast to help these Earthquake victims—while we have our own cleanup morass to deal with—and yet the lies and distortions fly around the globe. We're sending aid even though this is the country most believed to be providing safe harbor to osama bin laden. Meanwhile, I wonder how much Al Qaeda will contribute to the relief effort?
There's an outbreak, for sure. Of opinion disguised as facts, and agendas disguised as news angles. Yea yea, from both "sides".
Oh, And...
I've had enough of the mysteriously disappearing sock thing. I have more unmatched socks than...than...is there even an analogy available for this? No, because I'm the only person on Earth whose socks get up, pack a lunch, and leave on their own volition. I know my dog's not eating them because my dog's not pooping them. I know I'm not sleepwalking and discarding singular socks as I encounter them. They're not hidden at the bottom of a pile, and I'm not accidentally including them in my outgoing mail. There is simply no explanation. We're talking paranormal activity here, folks.
Any ideas?
...Help meh...
Labels: commentary
10 Comments:
i have that sock problem too, except not only do mine pack lunch and goto work, but they never come back. Usually i have one sock on and one sock off. My girlfriend pats me on the back on the days when i have 2 matching socks. go me
11:25 PM
Ya, I have the same problem with those damn socks. Try putting one inside the other before you wash them. Then if they still go out for a garbage plate, then you know that somehtings up. Nothing is better than new socks, no matter how cheap they are. I think I'll try and buy a lot of cheap socks off ebay. I bet China would pay big bucks for our unmatched socks. They actually buy Americans old tennis shoes! Now thats a buisness.-Joe
12:23 AM
Firstly, to add to your grammar thingy, I hate it when people say "a whole nuther thing". What the heck is a "nuther" anyway? I hear it all over the place--tv and radio included.
Secondly, the wayward sock thingy. I smell conspiracy. Perhaps it's the Yeti.
-faz
8:36 AM
defaz, I'm laughing because I've never thought of that, but yea. That's right. What the hell IS a "nuther"? I hear it all the time and I've NEVER realized that it had "nuther" in it. Obviously based on "another", but that wouldn't fit anyway. "Whole another thing"? Maybe it's a lazy combination of "And another thing..." and "that's an entirely different thing", both of which are argumentative/debatey in nature. Debatey isn't a word but I sure do like it now that I look at it.
8:55 PM
It's the wife. The wife. The wife has the socks. Check the wife sock drawer. No, check it again. They are there. The wife is not stealing them, that's a whole nuther thing in of itself. The socks are there. In fact, I'm missing a couple, Ima bouttoo check the wife sock drawer myself.
12:00 PM
You know, I found you searching for the word 'thingy' on the web... and I am happy for it. You made me laugh hard. Thank you for that.
Now, in retribution to your kindness, I leave you a thought on the socket disappearing act:
Get one-color socks only. Not just won´t you have any further problem with unpaired ones, but you won´t realize about their exodus until there´s one left, or you run out of them.
That, first of all. Second of all ( LOL!!!! =D!!! )...
My personal experience: just forget about socks. Don´t use them. They are pure evil.
Kiss!
5:34 PM
Seinfeld's take on the sock exodus is this... The washing machine is a dance party/social event for socks - they get to dance around and party. They hook up with other socks in the dryer and make a run for the sunset when you're least expecting it.
4:26 PM
I've got a peeve to air. You haven't updated your blog, and I'm sick of the RSS feed saying the same thing!
8:36 AM
hey, todd, let's go somewhere else. somewhere where the updatin' is, like, done more. and maybe where they speak english better.
3:24 PM
yea yea, bastards. been bee-busy.
4:11 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home